15 MINUTES: A Love Story, by Stevie Chaddock Lambert

I entered into this partnership almost exactly a year ago, and let me tell you, it started like any budding relationship. Dramatic. The constant texting, the late night phone calls, the not sleeping, the not eating and subsequent over-eating once you get into the comfortable stage (around month four)…

Don’t you just love new relationships?

And then everything changes. The fantasy ends. The veil is lifted. You see each other for who you really are – imperfect. You notice that 15 Minutes chews with his mouth open and almost always misses the toilet bowl while peeing and sounds like a growling Muppet monster when he sleeps. You realize that this relationship won’t continue to grow with just warm, fuzzy thoughts and carnal attraction. It’s going to take work…a lot of work.

So the work begins, and it’s grueling - in a truly exhilarating way. It’s exciting and new all over again. You learn things about each other that can’t be discovered in only a couple months; you dig deeper. You both grow and change - together and separately. 15 Minutes helps you through some very difficult, personal events in your life, and you are stronger together because of those hardships.

Finally, through it all, you realize why you began this relationship in the first place. You realize how truly rewarding a partnership, such as this, can be. You introduce 15 Minutes to your parents and friends, who of course love him, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Playwright Aaron Dean say...

Son of Man, direct your face towards Blog, of the land of Mablog, the prince, the leader of Meshech and Tubal, and prophesy concerning him.

Eziekiel 1: 38-39

Imagine you live in a little village. Its a happy place. Prosperous and gentle and fair and lovely. The thatch roof cottages sit nestled in buttery yellow wheat fields. There are festivals and dances and it seems the recent Typhus outbreak is fast becomming memory But there is one problem, there is an ogre, up the hill not two miles away, and he gambols down that hill every now and again and scoops up the most apple-cheeked, cherubic, five year old and rips opens its guts and feeds upon the leaky red entrails therein, while the mothers watch and ring their hands in grief. Then he gambols back up the hill, jump roping with the babe's lower intestines and singing Mid-period Moby songs.

Everyone in the village curses and cries and rends their burlap duds and then maybe they burn a goat and by morning they look out at those buttery wheat fields and understand the price of prosperity, they get over it and plan another barn dance.

Then a wandering knight, looking to impress his lady love back home rides into town. Not only is he gorgeous and charming and well-read, his record as a wandering knight is impeccable. Dragons vanquished, riddles solved, spells broken...you could go on forever baby.

He offers to solve your ogre problem. "Heck yes," you say.

You and your buddies armour up and you sing battle songs and play grabbies in the public shower and you head out, the golden knight leading his corn-liquor fueled posse.

You stand at the gates. Weapons poised. The clouds gather, somewhere an ominous bell is wringing. Where's it coming from? A solemn looking raven purches on a denuded tree branch.

You are unphased.

You hear the low, rumbling laugh of the creature.

You stand firm, confident in the knight.

Then over the black, iron gates, breaking the gray sheet of sky comes...a something...it hits right at your feet and when you get a closer look you see it is the head of that little five year old cutie, minus the eyes of course.

The ogres laughing becomes hysterical.

You miterate in your itchy breeches. Making them itchier.

Your knees knock together.

"Hold," Sayeth your captain.

You hold, he's just that good, in his golden helm and mighty sword, his cross draped shield and his...

Wait...wait a sec, what's that being hurled over the wall?

You find yourself in a shower of human body parts. The last thing that falls is the head of another knight, handsome face, golden helm, the works.

Minus the eyes of course.

And the ogre laughs till the earth at your feet shakes.

So what do you do? You run, you run like heck, back to the village. Will the knight and the posse take the gate? Slay the ogre. Who knows! Who cares!

So too is it with a devised piece. Our company was doing good. We had our share of success in a brief existence. But there is always the nagging to do more, to risk more. Then we decided to do a devised work. Which, most sensible people have a fear of. And we were on board, even the sensible ones.

And then come the heads.

Late nights, fast approaching deadlines, rehearsal after rehearsal waiting for the script, blocking waiting, designers waiting. And the ogre laughs and laughs.

Its scary. Reputations may be on the line, and you have started a process, without a play. You rehearse as you write, you have bull sessions and improvs, and they are all wonderful. And then its easy to let up and loose control. And then you scramble!

And you could run back to the village and be comfortable until the next time the monster comes down and then go back to being comfortable again after that. Or you could charge the gate, and risk becomming an eyeless head, thrown out of a gate to scare other posse's. You may fail. You may succeed, but to do the latter you must stay behind your knight.

We did.

We stormed the gate and brought that ogre down.

And now we have a dandy little play.

I love my wheat field. I always have, but what I love more is what it took to earn it. And who I earned it with.

So join me, raise your flagon of mead to the devised work, whether deemed successful or not. But drink not too much. For you never know what comes next to challenge you and your knight.

Juniper Hawk's Methods of Flying

We have long known of the phase of human history where our ancestors traveled by aircraft. Many of us have watched the Network footage, and I have even walked down the aisle of a now-defunct vessel. It is possible, and I can verify, that people can travel down the street, to other areas of the country, and even underwater. I alone can testify to that and have done so a great many times.

What we have not discussed is the now-rare phenomenon of human flight. Our mode of living is confined to supposedly provide safety and calm in an otherwise unstable world. But there are a great many sacrifices we’ve made to live this way. Our People to People peers have been examining and testing these different methods for about three years now and they’ve given me permission to share their findings with all of you, to perhaps encourage your interest in the outside world. None of these methods are possible in current Cube arrangement.

1) FALLING DOWN: Due to the confined nature of our living arrangement, the most anyone can fall is from their Mirror unit onto nearby floor or adjoining wall. This is a fairly minor fall and in in no way matches the destructive and wonderfully painful tumbles our ancestors experienced. From what I’ve seen, there are many different styles and shape a typical fall can take. The most I’ve ever traveled is the occasional stumble over uneven pavement on my many day trips. I have yet to encounter a set of stairs or a railing high enough to allow a moment of flight as I’ve seen in my research.

2) BASKETBALL: The rules of this game still elude me, but examining the former playing grounds and footage, there is evidence of a goal positioned at least 10 feet into the air and individuals would have to travel from the ground to the goal with a ball in their hands. The air over the playing ground was only thick enough to support one player at a time, and not everyone was strong enough to sustain such a long flight.

3) DANCE: Though I've long been ridiculed for my immense compact disc collection, my appreciation for disco in particular brings me one step closer to defying gravity.

Disco is not a flight dance(but a delicious series of movements across a dance space). It requires the body to move in ways it wouldn’t move for everyday purposes, which is a key element of any dance. Some forms specialized in leaving the ground for various periods of time.

Allow me to repeat: there is no way any of us can fly in a Cube. We will forever attempt to recreate the thrills and marvels that were once available to us(proof that we are meant for different living arrangements), but we will not be capable of actual human flight until we leave the Cubes. I encourage you all to find other methods once employed and attempt them in the limited floorspace you have available. I guarantee you’ll fail, much like Sebastian’s original mustache.

Alyse Kittner had this to say a while back...

i don't know if you heard the news, but i am going to Vegas - in a matter of minutes. The main reason of going is to skydiving. Yup, I am paying someone to push me out of a plane. While there, i am also jumping into the world of RISK. Financial risk, emotional risk, physical risk, and moral risk (it is Vegas after all).

how far are we willing to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and into the world of risk? I love physically risky things. let me climb to the top of anything, throw me around like a beach ball, i am also good a balancing things on my head. I don't have enough money to worry about being financially risky. I think that is one of the sad problems only rich people have to deal with. Moral risk- i am just going to let that one go.

But emotional risk? Like letting my guard down? Or, god forbid, exposing faults and fears? My heart races, chest tightens, mind races, and i have this uncontrollable giggle. If you know me, even a little, you know i don't giggle. I smirk. I belly laugh. I am not a giggler unless very uncomfortable. emotional risk makes me very uncomfortable...teeheeheehee.

As an actor working on 15 Mins, i have taken my fair share of risks. Some easy, some hard, some that are still TBD. But the character's choice of to take a risk or not...that is compelling. what is the difference between risk and stupidity? what is the difference between safe and boring? what is it that makes all the risk worthwhile?

For me and Henry it is the opportunity to experience something completely new. After I jump, I will never be the same. When Henry risks it all, nothing will be as it was. Feeling new things makes the risk worthwhile.

A little something from playwright Aaron Dean...

Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip

Bum bum bum bum bum bum

Get a blog

Shan na na na nanana

Get a blog

I have a strange relationship with technology. I always have. Here is me. I am 29 years old. I wear fuzzy sweaters and smoke pipes and schedule time to take walks. All without irony too.

I hate using the phone. I don't like to drive; I never had an interest in automoblies,unlike most Americans who find driving akin to breathing. I didn't really use a computer until I was probably 18, in high school I would visit releatives to write term papers. Although I do like the promise of the personal computer, I still don't know my way around one, and would rather be doing just about anything else than sitting in front of a screen.

And it's not like I hate technology, just the opposite. I find it miraculous! We are living in an age of pure magic, and although I think it has it's merit, I have come to terms with the fact that it just isn't a world I fit into. I'm fine with this. And if you become close to me, eventually you will have to deal with the fact that while you're sweating bullets trying to get a hold of me, because its soooo important to be able to get ahold of me because I'm sooooo important, I am probably watching geese swallow stuff at the park, I can spend close to two hours watching stuff slide down those long, graceful necks. I don't know why! And I have given up analyizing it.

That's not to say that I am stubborn about it (I kinda am though) I'm pretty open minded. I am for whatever reason, just really indifferent to technology.

What I am not indifferent to however, is what it all means for us as a human race.

I'm no reactionary, when I see all the headphones, and screens and see everyone talking to the angels via tiny headsets I don't shake my tiny fists and say "You damn kids...blar, blar.." because it's cool, it's cool stuff. And there is so much talk about what it is doing to us. And I agree that it is doing something to us. And it's not cuz its evil or whatever, we just don't have the maturity, as a society, to balance it out with the rest of our lives yet that's all. It's a tool and a toy, and I love that. But we are not really treating it that way, there is something quasi-religious about the culture of technology right now, and if you don't believe me listen to people get together and talk about their phones. But that's just cuz it's all so new. When you were little and you get a badass new toy, your stuffed animals sat in the corner for a while. But you pick 'em back up and snuggle them again. We'll snuggle again gang, we just need to get all the electro-ecstacy out of our collective system first. So until you do my friends I will be watching the geese. Come join me, and I dare you to leave your phone at home.

Simon Lee and Tips for Virtual Pets

Hi…um…

My name is Simon Lee.

I…um… Well, I’m not…I’m a people person. I like to watch people and to talk to them. They don’t…um well they don’t always talk to me, but I think that it’s just a bit of a slump for me right now. I’m getting better at--I mean I’m improving. I think, in the ways that I communicate.

I have a pony. A virtual pony. His name is Simon2 and he is very popular with the ladies. Well, the lady horses. Here is a picture:

It’s an old picture, but you get the idea. He has been with me for as long as I can remember. Which… Well, I guess that’s rare. I could give you some tips if you like, but you don’t have to take them, but I do pretty well with my pony upkeep…so it might help you with your stuff…or whatever. Here are some rules to follow:

• Go to a RELIABLE virtual pet shop. Often times you’ll find that people will over charge you for your animal and they will already be on the verge of death or starvation or are just plain not good. The virtual animal ring in this country is cut throat. Don’t trust people who make huge offers for a small price. I myself was forced to visit a number of undesirable pages for a good two years before I had earned the right to my virtual pet and even then I was forced to nurse Simon2 back from his previous owner who left him on death’s door. Don’t settle. I suggest Takio, Bastingo’s Animal Hideout or Ain’t No Thing but a Chicken Wang for Animal Lovers.
• Feed you pet 3 times a day. Again, I visit a number of undesirable pages in order to have the credits for Simon2’s food. I make sure that he is always well fed and healthy, even if this means that I must go hungry. A virtual pet is privilege. His needs must come before your own.
• Play with your animal. He needs love and respect. I, myself, give Simon2 my attention for at least 4 hours of the day. He is always well brushed and muscular and happy. There is no excuse for a lack of this level of commitment. He is an actual living virtual pony. Treat him with the respect he deserves.
• And lastly take your animals to a virtual vet once a week. Again I visit many undesirable pages in order to have the credits to make this happen, but I know that the health of my virtual animal is a direct indication of the mental health of me. If he is sick I must be a sick person to let that happen. Don’t be a mentally ill person. Take care of your animal. I suggest Bastingo’s Animal Hideout, The V.E.T, or Fix’er Up or Bury ‘Em for Animal Fanatics.

I hope this has been helpful or- - Well hopefully this has been enlightening. I work very hard on Simon2 and he means the world to me. I don’t know what I would do without him.

I um… bye.

Rayne Droppe: The Person (not the stuff that’s been falling from the sky all April)

When you hear the name “Rayne Droppe,” what kind of person do you think of? Probably some tie-dye wearing, peace sign flashing, go-with-the-flow hippie, am I right? Hmmm, not quite.

So who is Rayne Droppe? No, really, who is she? We’re still writing here, folks. Your input would be really helpful. Ok, ok, enough joking around! Yes, we are still writing this beast, but we have pretty good idea of who this gal is and (not that I’m attached or anything) she’s pretty great.

I’d say she’s a mix of Max Fischer (ala Rushmore) and Rachel Berry (for all you Gleeks out there). Some say she’s more akin to a Disney princess. However you’d describe Miss Droppe, I think you’d all agree on one thing; she’s endearing as hell.

Rayne’s insecurities shine through as she strives for perfection, and if you asked her to describe herself, she’d give you a list of all her “qualifications” (i.e. breeding, soccer, macramé, scrapbooking, taxidermy, portraiture…I think you get the point).

Obviously, Rayne has a lot to learn about who she truly is, including the fact that her identity is not comprised of self-assigned accolades. What she doesn’t realize is that only through other people, actual human-to-human interaction, can she discover these truths about herself.

Sebastian Duder and an episode of BYTES!

FIRE

FIRE

FIRE
FIRE

And no, that isn’t what you think. Or maybe it is.

Soon, very soon you’ll all have your suspicions confirmed.

Or denied.

Or something.

Look at these!!!!

The abs. Of steel. And American.

This is patriotism at its best. Explosive and sexy.

By the way, Happy Easter.

Cute right? Cuddly, right?

This is what people want to see.

This is what people want to experience, sex followed by cuddling. It’s comforting, it’s routine, it’s expected.

In other words: it’s ideal. This is what we’re fighting for, Warriors.

Ideals.

We keep things together, we honor ourselves and those who came before us by living up to these ideals.

Fuck the Commies.

Also, who’s hungry?

You want this. I can tell your salivary glands are salivating.

That’s what happens when you want something delectable, something that’s gonna tantalize your senses, assault your reason and quench your thirst.

That’s what I give you,

just like those before me.

Boom. Look at his

determination. His

resolve. His cockiness at

knowing he’s the rightest

person in the world.

He was an amateur.

What I’m gonna show you is a million times more explosive.

Happy Easter.