Monday, May 2, 2011

Simon Lee and Tips for Virtual Pets


My name is Simon Lee.

I…um… Well, I’m not…I’m a people person. I like to watch people and to talk to them. They don’t…um well they don’t always talk to me, but I think that it’s just a bit of a slump for me right now. I’m getting better at--I mean I’m improving. I think, in the ways that I communicate.

I have a pony. A virtual pony. His name is Simon2 and he is very popular with the ladies. Well, the lady horses. Here is a picture:

It’s an old picture, but you get the idea. He has been with me for as long as I can remember. Which… Well, I guess that’s rare. I could give you some tips if you like, but you don’t have to take them, but I do pretty well with my pony upkeep…so it might help you with your stuff…or whatever. Here are some rules to follow:

  • Go to a RELIABLE virtual pet shop. Often times you’ll find that people will over charge you for your animal and they will already be on the verge of death or starvation or are just plain not good. The virtual animal ring in this country is cut throat. Don’t trust people who make huge offers for a small price. I myself was forced to visit a number of undesirable pages for a good two years before I had earned the right to my virtual pet and even then I was forced to nurse Simon2 back from his previous owner who left him on death’s door. Don’t settle. I suggest Takio, Bastingo’s Animal Hideout or Ain’t No Thing but a Chicken Wang for Animal Lovers.
  • Feed you pet 3 times a day. Again, I visit a number of undesirable pages in order to have the credits for Simon2’s food. I make sure that he is always well fed and healthy, even if this means that I must go hungry. A virtual pet is privilege. His needs must come before your own.
  • Play with your animal. He needs love and respect. I, myself, give Simon2 my attention for at least 4 hours of the day. He is always well brushed and muscular and happy. There is no excuse for a lack of this level of commitment. He is an actual living virtual pony. Treat him with the respect he deserves.
  • And lastly take your animals to a virtual vet once a week. Again I visit many undesirable pages in order to have the credits to make this happen, but I know that the health of my virtual animal is a direct indication of the mental health of me. If he is sick I must be a sick person to let that happen. Don’t be a mentally ill person. Take care of your animal. I suggest Bastingo’s Animal Hideout, The V.E.T, or Fix’er Up or Bury ‘Em for Animal Fanatics.

I hope this has been helpful or- - Well hopefully this has been enlightening. I work very hard on Simon2 and he means the world to me. I don’t know what I would do without him.

I um… bye.

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